


Quiet Comfort

by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Because Everyone In This Group Needs More Cuddles, Character Going Non Verbal, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 15:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16537037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_in_ink/pseuds/Angel%20Ascending
Summary: “Is there anything I can do for you?” Caduceus asks the question knowing that there might not be an answer. Caleb is the type who rarely asks for what he needs even when he has a voice. He asks it regardless, as he had asked the mourners who had come to the grove, as he would ask any of his traveling companions, his friends. He remembers all the times he’s seen Nott and Caleb relaxing, one leaning into the other. “I’m very good to lean against.”





	Quiet Comfort

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StupidPoetry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidPoetry/gifts).



The Mighty Nein get attacked by ettins again on their way from the Menagerie Coast back to Zadash, and the fight is not short, nor is it easy. Maybe it would have been easier if Yasha had still been with them, but she had left the day after they had returned from the sea, gone with a storm that had rolled in quickly and had blown itself out by morning. Caduceus can’t fault her for her devotion to her god, but it does mean there is a hole to be filled, everyone working to fill in that gap.

There’s no time for self congratulation when the first ettin is felled, not when Beau is lying in an unconscious heap and there is still another ettin to be dealt with. Caduceus hears both Fjord and Jester cursing as their attacks miss, and no sooner does he heal Beau than the monk is struggling to her feet and ready to throw herself back into the fight. She doesn’t get a chance before there is an explosion of sound, a wave of heat, the crackle of fire and the thud of a large body hitting the ground. Just like that the battle is over, and all that’s left is the cleaning up.

It’s when Caduceus is kneeling by the cooling body of the second ettin, coaxing mushrooms out of the burnt flesh, that he realizes that Caleb hasn’t moved from where Caduceus had seem him standing minutes ago. Caduceus stands and slowly walks over to the wizard, looking at him closely. Caleb doesn’t look injured, but his breathing seems shallower than normal, and he doesn’t look away when Caduceus squats down slightly to make eye contact with him, like he would have normally. Once Caduceus looks into Caleb’s eyes, he realizes why. He’s seen that look before on some of the mourners that would come to the Blooming Grove, shock and grief and loss turning the mourner’s self inward instead of outward. He’s seen this look on Caleb before as well, the last time they had fought with the ettins that lived in these parts, when Caleb had used a fireball for the first time.

“Caleb?” Beau’s voice comes from behind Caduceus, and she sounds a little worried but not surprised. “Hey, let’s get in the cart, all right?”

Awareness swims in Caleb’s eyes like the dark shapes Caduceus had seen swimming under the surface of the water the night they had killed those men at the docks and taken their ship. Beau steps forward and reaches for Caleb’s arm and Caleb doesn’t withdraw from the touch, just lets himself be lead, and that’s interesting. Caleb doesn’t talk about himself at all, but Caduceus has seen how the man flinches away from contact he doesn’t initiate first, as if he is waiting for a kind hand to turn cruel, for the hug meant to comfort to turn smothering. Nott and Frumpkin are the only two exempt from this fear, as far as Caduceus has seen, and it makes him wonder as he follows behind Caleb and Beau. He sees Nott look at Caleb, then at Beau, and something passes between them, some acknowledgment.

“Does that happen often?” Caduceus asks Jester as he takes up the horse’s reins and they set off on the road again. The horses had been more than a little spooked by the battle, but they had accepted Caduceus’s words of reassurance well enough.

“What, Caleb?” Jester turns around to look behind her, then remembers the illusion spell on the back of the cart and turns back. “Not like, all the time, just every once in a while. He goes all into his head, and sometimes his words don’t come back right away even after the rest of him has.”

Caleb has mostly lost the far away stare by the time the group stops for the night to make camp, but Caduceus notices the way that Caleb doesn’t touch anything with his bare hands, the bandages having been burned away by the flames. He had wondered if the wizard was hiding scars, the evidence of a accident or a tragedy, but the skin looks whole and pale in the campfire light. Caleb doesn’t look at his hands as he bandages them again, his movements quick and precise regardless, a task much practiced and long mastered. Only when his hands are completely covered does Caleb pick up Frumpkin, cuddling the purring creature to his chest.

“Caleb, I—ahh— hate to ask, but do you think you’re going to be up for any magic tonight?” Fjord asks over dinner. “I mean, it’s okay if you aren’t, just wanted to know if we needed to put up tents and organize watches and all that.”

Caduceus sees a muscle in Caleb’s jaw twitch, a slight tightening of his hands in Frumpkin’s fur, a flash of self-loathing in his eyes. Nott, sitting close to Caleb as usual, suddenly leans against him, and Caduceus watches as some of the tension leaves Caleb in a sigh as he shakes his head.

“That’s all right,” Fjord says, and puts a hand on Caleb’s shoulder in what is meant to be a friendly gesture surely, but Caduceus sees Caleb flinch the tiniest bit. “Don’t worry about it. You and Nott want to take first watch?”

“I’d like to take watch with Caleb,” Caduceus says quickly. He’s not impulsive by nature, far from it, but intuition tells him this is something he should do. “If you don’t mind, Caleb, Nott.”

Caleb and Nott look at each other.

“I don’t mind if Caleb doesn’t,” Nott says, and she looks at Caduceus as she says it, yellow eyes shining. He remembers talking with her one night on the boat, promising to keep Caleb safe, and from the look she’s giving Caduceus now he thinks maybe she’s remembering that talk as well. “Caleb, is that all right with you?”

Caleb only hesitates an instant before he nods, one hand petting Frumpkin, the other carding through Nott’s hair.

A short time later everyone goes to their respective rests, leaving Caleb and Caduceus alone by the campfire. Caduceus makes tea, speaking quietly as the water boils. “I find ginger and mint are good both for keeping awake and for the minor aches that come from a long day, and this was a long day, wasn’t it?”

Caleb nods and takes the offered cup, hands briefly brushing against Caduceus’s own, perhaps lingering a little longer than is strictly necessary. Caduceus doesn’t mind at all, just makes a note of it as he pours his own tea and takes a sip, sighing with contentment. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Caleb take a sip as well, fingers gripping the cup tightly.

“Are you feeling any better?” Caduceus asks softly, using the same tone he would use on the easily startled creatures of the forest.

Caleb nods slowly, not looking anywhere near Caduceus when he does it, his breath coming a little faster, hands clenching the cup a little tighter. A lie then, and a poor one at that.

“It’s all right if you’re not.”

Caleb huffs, a frustrated sound, and shakes his head. He looks worn out, the firelight adding shadows to his face nearly as dark as the circles under his eyes. Everyone in the group needs some serious taking care of, Caduceus included, and some time off, days spent where there isn’t any drowning or fighting, no worrying about ancient god like-beings rising from the deep.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Caduceus asks the question knowing that there might not be an answer. Caleb is the type who rarely asks for what he needs even when he has a voice. He asks it regardless, as he had asked the mourners who had come to the grove, as he would ask any of his traveling companions, his friends. He remembers all the times he’s seen Nott and Caleb relaxing, one leaning into the other. “I’m very good to lean against.”

Several emotions flicker across Caleb’s face in an instant, nearly too quick to read, but when Caleb lift his head and looks Caduceus in the eye, it’s with a wary hopefulness, and he’s leaning towards Caduceus the way a plant leans toward sunlight.

Caduceus moves closer and Caleb tenses for a moment. If the wizard had ears like firbolgs did, they’d be twitching.

“It’s all right, Caleb. It is.”

With that reassurance, Caduceus suddenly finds himself with a wizard tucked against his side and a lapful of purring Frumpkin. Both wizard and familiar shift around a bit to get comfortable and both of them settle nearly at the same time, Caleb with a sigh and Frumpkin with a purr. When Caduceus puts an arm around Caleb a moment later, the wizard doesn’t stiffen or flinch.

“Is this okay?”

Caduceus feels Caleb nod, and Frumpkin gives a little meowing chirp as if echoing the sentiment.

The time passes quietly, the only sounds the crackle of the campfire, Frumpkin’s purring, and the ambient noises that come with being outdoors at night. Caleb is warm against him, smelling of woodsmoke and ink, and Frumpkin smells like magic and growing things, as the familiar does regardless of whatever form he takes. It’s peaceful, and Caduceus is not surprised when he looks down after awhile and sees that Caleb is asleep, the wizard’s face smooth and untroubled. He looks so small when he’s asleep, but then, to Caduceus, everyone does.

Caduceus is yawning by the time he hears Nott and Jester coming over to replace them on watch.

“Awww,” Jester says softly, her smile wide. “You all look so cute together! Nott, don’t they look cute together?”

“Sure,” says Nott as Jester immediately sits down and starts sketching. “Thank you, Mr. Clay.”

Caduceus doesn’t have to ask what he’s being thanked for. “You’re very much welcome. It was my pleasure.” It really had been a pleasure. Maybe Caleb hadn’t been the only one who had needed a good cuddle.

Frumpkin gives a disgruntled _mrrrp_ sort of sound when Caduceus goes to get up, and Caleb makes an unhappy noise in response, blinking and squinting in the firelight before getting stiffly to his feet, sleepily tousling Nott’s hair and giving Jester a pat on the shoulder as he walks by, eyes barely open. Caduceus says good night to the two and by the time he’s done so, Caleb’s already crawled into his tent.

Caduceus heads into the tent he’s sharing with Fjord, and he’s almost asleep when he hears Caleb whisper, the words borne on magic as soft as Frumpkin’s fur. “ _Thank you_.”

“ _Anytime_ ,” Caduceus says back, and he means it. “ _Anytime_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for @stupid-poetry on Tumblr, who wanted non-verbal Caleb getting cuddles. I hope you liked it!
> 
> I'm angel-ascending over on Tumblr if y'all want to stop by and say hi!


End file.
